Oh, What a Year! : The offbeat stories of 2010 in Tennessee

In 2009 the film Avatar used 3D to take viewers to an amazing otherworldly planet of glowing flora, exotic fauna and floating mountains. It used technology and storytelling for an adventure that captured the fascination of the world.

In 2010 Tennessee native Johnny Knoxville and his crew used the technology in the film Jackass 3D to capture a man being doused with the contents of a well- used Porta Potty, people being urinated on from the perspective of the part of the body doing the urinating and the drinking of human sweat. The vomit scenes were especially realistic because of 3D and the fact they came simultaneously from the movie and from the audience.

2010 was the year of gushing oil in the Gulf, trapped miners rescued in Chile and the phrase “We are Nashville” symbolizing the comeback of a great city. The Winter Olympics were held in Vancouver, BC.  Tenneseans said hello to a new governor. We said goodbye to Dixie Carter, Patricia Neal, Lorenzen Wright, State Representative Ulysses Jones and a Hospital Wing air ambulance crew.

But that was the big stuff. Here we celebrate… well not exactly celebrate, let’s just say inadequately document… the strange and downright weird of Tennessee over the past year. Like Memphis getting its own TV series, Memphis Beat, about a Memphis cop who moonlights as a blues singer. It was such a tribute to Memphis producers filmed it in New Orleans. Or police in Oak Ridge discovering lost in the woods a seven-foot-tall fiberglass statue of a penguin dressed in a police uniform holding a radiation detector. (Hey wait… no mine is an eight foot Artic Turin dressed like a nurse holding a photo enlarger.)

Let’s take a look back at the Tennessee of 2010 that even Robert L. Ripley would have trouble believing.
That’s Politics….

Carson-Gore Academy for Environmental Sciences in Los Angeles, California named in honor of Al Gore and his work with the environment was constructed over a former toxic site that still has contaminated ground water.

Congressman Steve Cohen derided the tea party movement for “…opposition to African Americans, hostility towards gays hostility to anybody who wasn’t just, you know a clone of the George Wallace fan club.”

Harold Ford Jr moved from Tennessee to New York City and made a run for US Senate. During an interview with MSNBC’s Chris Mathews this exchange took place.
Mathews: “But are you a New Yorker?”
Ford: “I am.”
Mathews: “You’re a New Yorker? Say ‘I am a New Yorker.”
Ford: “I am a New Yorker. I am a New Yorker. I am a New Yorker. I am a New Yorker.”

Three Memphis Fire fighters were disciplined for posting a photo at the station of Mayor AC Wharton alongside a picture of Adolph Hitler and Osama Bin Laden.

Tracy City voters elected a Carl Robin Geary mayor in April despite the fact he had died a few weeks before the election.

Memphis city councilwoman Janice Fullilove sent a letter of apology to visitors from the National Black Caucus of Local Elected Officials after an incident where during a riverboat ride during the group’s national convention in Memphis she began “pole dancing” until she was asked to stop by fellow councilman Myron Lowry.

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Representative Curry Todd of Collierville complained in November immigrants “can go out there like rats and multiply.”

A Nashville motorist driving his daughter from school said he had his car rammed twice due to his Obama bumper sticker.

Governor Phil Bredesen and many other governors received letters from a group calling themselves Guardians of Free Republics in April telling them to resign or that they will be removed from office.

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After about 14,000 years of uninterrupted hunting and fishing in Tennessee, voters in November approved an amendment to the constitution guaranteeing it as a right.

Basil Marceaux ran for Governor ran on the platform of moving the Capitol of Tennessee to Chattanooga and removing gold fringe from the American flag.

Police Blotter….

A Northwest flight from Detroit to Orlando had to land in Nashville New Year’s Day due to a suspicious package. It turned out to be a Christmas ornament.

Two women in Tellford were arrested for filing a false police report in January saying they were raped. They later admitted they traded sex for a pack of cigarettes but decided to file the police report because they “didn’t enjoy the sex.”

After making several calls to 911, a man in of Sullivan County was arrested wearing a Nazi uniform and smelling of alcohol.

A burglary suspect was identified by the Shelby County Sheriff’s department in January after he left his wallet with his state id, birth certificate and Social Security card at the house he allegedly burglarized.

A woman went to two credit unions in Memphis planning to rob them. At the first one, a teller could not understand what she was saying so she produced a hold up note, and then ran before getting any money. Later that same day she went to another credit union and displayed a handgun. When the teller backed away, the would-be robber ran out of the credit union, fell on the sidewalk and dropped her gun.

Middle Tennessee State University student Michaela Morales entered a plea agreement giving her probation, community service and $80 in restitution to evangelist John McGlone after she pushed him off a wall at the campus the previous October during a “fire and brimstone” preaching session outside on the campus.

Ramona Roberts of Surgeoinsville had a warrant issued for her arrest in February for cruelty to animals after leaving five dogs in a garage from where she was evicted. She first gained notoriety in 2009 when she and two of her cousins were on “Jerry Springer” saying they were in a cousin love triangle.

Dearick Stokes, on trial for murder in the Shelby County Courthouse in Memphis, excused himself for a restroom break while the jury was deliberating. He did not return and was found about a month later hiding in a bathroom in his cousin’s boyfriend’s house. Then in April he was mistakenly released from jail and once again recaptured.

A 1,700 pound marijuana shipment being followed by police in February disappeared on its way from Memphis to Kentucky.

Joshua Smith, an Oakland Police officer, told police he was shot Christmas Eve 2009 during a traffic stop but was saved when the bullet hit his badge. in March he admitted making the story up and was charged.

Paul Edwards of Columbia said his nine-year-old twins were suspended from school because officials thought their hair styles appeared to be gang related.

Georgia England of Sylvia had a seven-foot-tall replica of the Statue of Liberty stolen from her front yard where it had been for eight years. It was returned in pieces.

Hawkins County Sheriffs deputies in Rogersville arrested a man near the Melinda Ferry Boat Ramp screaming at a rock. The man told deputies he thought it was his son.

The Washington County sheriff’s department investigated a rumor that a student at Wallace Middle School in Bristol, Virginia was a member of a cult based on Japanese comic book character and was to kill a sinner as part of her religion. From one half to one third of students stayed home or were picked up from school early.

Bruce Tuck, who was convicted as “The Big Bellied Rapist” claimed he was fed only lettuce by police in Martin who then got him to confess to his crimes by offering him chips and a soft drink.

A man in Clarksville allegedly stole some cases of beer and then came back attempting to exchange them for some cold ones.

A Johnson City man was allegedly chased out of a house in Piney Flats by a seven-pound Chihuahua. Police say they found personal property from the home in his possession.

A plumber in Lavergne was cited on a misdemeanor charge of photographing without consent after he told a customer she needed to take a shower so he could pinpoint a leak. She did and discovered a camera shooting video in his equipment bag that he left by the shower.

A man in Jackson was charged with secretly photographing under women’s skirts during church services.

A man in Dyer County was arrested after he broke into a house and fell asleep on the couch.

A father in Bartlett allegedly pulled a handgun on a little league coach for not giving his son enough playing time.

A man in Gallatin went to a Wal-Mart and used a dressing room to steal jeans from the store, but he left his wallet and identification in the old jeans in the dressing room.

A man was arrested in Memphis for shooting a teenager for not pulling up his sagging pants.

A retired Jackson Fire Captain was charged in October of setting fire to his own home.

Fun ‘N Games

David Scherer of Clarksville broke the world’s record for playing video games after playing 55 hours straight of “Grand Theft Auto IV.”

Warren T. Johnson, a teacher from Blackman High School in Murfreesboro, raised money for Haitian earthquake victims by breaking the world record for hugs. He hugged 1,932 people.

The Social Network

After UT Knoxville coach Lane Kiffin announced he would be leaving, thirty two Kiffin-bashing Facebook pages started up overnight, including “Lane Kiffin: I will find you, kill you, and eat your first born child.”

Teacher Donald Wood of Nashville’s McGavock High School became a video star after disruptive students brought him to the point of pushing a table over during a videotaped rage at his high school.

Taylor Cummings of Nashville’s Martin Luther King Jr High School was expelled in January after a Facebook posting advised “I’ma kill em all. I’ma bust this (expletive) up from the inside like no one has before.”

Walter Baker, CEO of the Tennessee Hospitality Association, accepted responsibility and apologized for forwarding an email comparing Michelle Obama to a chimpanzee. The Association fired him.

Winston, a pit bull mix, was shown on a police dashboard cam pulling the bumper off a Chattanooga police car.

A sinkhole developed on I 240 in Memphis March 24. Within 48 hours it had over 6,300 fans on a Facebook page dedicated to the mini cave in.

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Media Matters

Forbes Magazine listed Memphis as the nation’s third most miserable city in February. In October the magazine ranked Memphis as the most dangerous city. Travel + Leisure magazine’s poll ranked Memphis dead last in attractiveness, athleticism, intelligence, environmental friendliness, romantic getaways and Pizza.

Nashville Scene magazine featured a photo in February of the band Diarrhea Planet smeared in dark brown mud.

After flooding hit Tennessee in May, Time magazine’s headline was “Nashville is under water. Why is no one paying attention?”

A planned story in Across Tennessee on the wild caves tour in McMinville’s Cumberland Caverns did not happen because reporter/publisher Devin Greaney did not fit in the spelunking crevices.

Clare Burson, a Memphis native living in New York City, was written up in The New Yorker for owning a 117 year-old piece of cheese that had been handed down in her family for generations.

Arista Nashville recording star Carrie Underwood revealed to WebMD in August she feels uncomfortable using public restrooms.

Tennessee Tacky

Jeffry Rush of Nashville was convicted and sent to prison in April for saying he was left quadriplegic after a car crash to receive benefits and avoid being sent to Iraq. He had full use of all four limbs.

Former City of Chattanooga employee Keele Maynor pled guilty in March to defrauding the city, charities and coworkers of money and time by lying that she had breast cancer.

Leslie Hindman Auctioneers of Chicago planned to auction items used by Memphis Funeral Home in the preparation of Elvis Presley’s body. They withdrew after the funeral home objected.

After the May floods, which killed over two dozen in the South, the Tennessee Department of Human Services in Memphis offered extra food stamps and money food stamp recipients affected by the storms. WMC TV news showed a woman dancing and smiling for the camera gloating “I’m gonna get some caaaash!”
All the rest

Awadh Binhazim, a volunteer Muslim chaplain at Vanderbilt, implied his support January for the death penalty for homosexuals.

Kevin Barrett and Jessica Barrett were married Valentine’s Day at a Murfreesboro White Castle.

The grave of John Hughes at Forest Hill Cemetery in Memphis was unearthed in February and discovered to be the remains of a woman. A funeral home employee said he cremated Hughes, who wished to be buried and buried Billie Sue Smith, who wished to be cremated to cover up the mistake.

A Hi-Lo Burger employee in Bristol was handed a pamphlet by an anonymous customer who told her she was dressed inappropriately. The pamphlet said, among other things, “Some rape victims would not have been raped if they had dressed properly. So can we really say they were innocent victims?”

Michael Cobbs of Memphis claimed to own six homes in Memphis and Collierville because he was a sovereign king and had the right to take abandoned properties.

Knoxville was listed as the worst city for allergies, according to the Asthma and Allergy Foundation of America.

Hasbro introduced an Elvis Mr. Potato head in August for Elvis week.

A woman representing a softball team in Memphis was told her team could not play in the Bellevue Baptist Church league because she was a lesbian.

8000 power customers in Downtown and the Medical center in Memphis were without power in June due to a raccoon in the power station. In July Downtown Memphis was again left powerless in July from a flock of birds. In September a squirrel set off another power outage that turned off power for about 4,800 customers in Midtown.

Bridget Brown, 15, Bobby Nolen, 13, and James Brown, 11 of Jacksonville Florida boarded a Southwest Airlines plane without their parent’s permission and arrived in Nashville in hopes of going to Dollywood. They were given free tickets home.

Rhodes College in Memphis announced in November they were investigating an incident in September where a Kappa Alpha pledge claimed he received frostbite in his fingertips during an ice cream eating contest.

UT Knoxville football coach Derek Dooley said his team had “the worst shower discipline of any team I had been around” and instructed his team in proper bathing techniques.

The Memphis Gay and Lesbian Community Center offered, for five dollars, participants a chance to “Dunk a Lesbian” at September’s Cooper-Young Festival.
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The first day of Fall, September 22, Dyersburg hit 97 degrees.

Gene Cranick of Obion County did not pay a $75 firefighting fee to the city of South Fulton so when his house caught fire, fire fighters refused to put out the fire, which destroyed the home. His son was arrested after the fire for allegedly punching fire chief David Wilds.

A Steak N’ Shake franchise in Cleveland was sued in October after Tim and Mary Catherine Gann’s son was served Blair’s Mega Death Sauce, causing him to break out in hives and require hospitalization.

A watercolor and pencil study attributed to artist Paul Signac was donated in 2001 the Memphis’ Brook’s Museum but was never put on display. The museum put it on display in November after it was discovered to be a forgery because so many people were curious due to the media coverage.

This article opened with Knoxville, so shall it end with Knoxville. Neighbors of Knoxville resident David Perkins appeared before the Metropolitan Planning association to oppose his plans to use his home in the Sequoya Hills neighborhood for several businesses including a Jewish sperm bank.

And this is,  at least for now, the last posting at acrosstennessee.com . Several other obligations will keep me from posting. My purpose in starting Across Tennessee was to create a web magazine with a variety of topics with the only thing in common being a Tennessee connection and I hope, at least for the most part, I provided something relevant and interesting. If anyone is or knows someone in the media who may be interested in publishing, please contact me at memphisgreaney@gmail.com

Since March 1, 2010, I have enjoyed the people I have met from all over the state and your words of encouragement.

Thank you,

Devin Greaney

Memphis, TN